The Walls are WAITING!

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

A while back, I took photos of the gallery where #DearMirror will be held and did something a little weird with them. I completely erased everything. I'm a graphic designer! I can do that! LOL! 😂

I wanted to remove everything from the photographs because I needed to see the space that would become home to my paintings for 2 weeks.

I needed to see what I had to work with.

Blank walls. Open floor space. Corners. Sight-lines. Possibilities.

And most importantly, I needed to be able to look at that room and imagine my work hanging there.

Today is August 9.

The countdown is officially on.

There are 112 days until November 29, when those walls become home to #DearMirror — Reflections of Me, my very first art show.

And…we are getting close. AND I actually have butterflies...kinda nervous; I won't lie.

And it’s wild to think that over a year ago, this was still just a conversation. Just an idea I was talking about, imagining, planning in the background of everything else in life. Back then it felt distant…like something I would do one day. I remember talking about doing an art show in my very early 20s.

Now it’s not “one day” anymore.

It’s 112 days away.

For years, having an art show was one of those things sitting somewhere in the distance. Something I wanted to do. Something I knew I would eventually do. Eventually is a dangerous word, though. Eventually can turn into years very quickly.

Life happens. Work happens. Relationships happen. Money happens. Doubt happens. Distractions definitely happen. And suddenly something you've wanted to do for a long time is still sitting there waiting for you.

And if I'm looking at myself truthfully, I've had another habit over the years.

I can start a project with an incredible amount of energy.

An idea hits me and I'm ALL IN. I'm researching, designing, creating, buying supplies, making plans and obsessing about what it can be. 😂

But then time passes.

The newness wears off.

What was exciting starts becoming routine. The creative rush turns into repetition. There are tedious things that need to be done. Progress isn't always obvious anymore.

And that's usually where I've had a tendency to fall off.

The project gets pushed aside. Something else catches my attention. I'll tell myself I'll come back to it, and sometimes I do.

Sometimes I don't.

I've been very aware of that pattern while working on #DearMirror.

Because this project stopped being new a long time ago. There have been days when I didn't feel like painting. Weeks when other parts of life took over. Pieces that frustrated me. Expenses I didn't particularly feel like dealing with. Planning that wasn't remotely exciting. Decisions that had absolutely nothing to do with being creative.

But I'm still here.

Still painting.

Still planning.

Still figuring things out.

Still moving toward November 29.

And I think that means almost as much to me as the exhibition itself.

I'm actually seeing this one through. At some point, I had to stop saying I wanted to have an art show. I had to actually build one. And that's what I've been doing.

Painting after painting. Idea after idea. Experiment after experiment.

Some pieces came together almost exactly how I imagined them. Some changed completely while I was working on them. Some I loved immediately.

And then there were a few that had me standing in front of the canvas wondering what the hell am I doing?

But that's been part of this entire process.

Learning. Experimenting. Trusting myself. Changing my mind. Walking away from something and coming back to it.

And occasionally realizing that the thing I wasn't sure about might actually be one of the strongest pieces in the room.

Now I'm approaching the part of the journey where things start shifting.

I'm no longer looking at a pile of ideas wondering whether I'll actually have enough work for an exhibition.

The work exists.

The show exists.

The date exists.

The gallery is booked.

Now I'm looking at the photographs of that room and thinking about which painting belongs on which wall. That's a very different feeling. There is still plenty to do before November 29.

Finishing touches have to be done on all the paintings. They have to be varnished, photographed properly and prepared for hanging. I have to see if there is a budget for merch...I gatta make up the certificates & labels. I have to create the virtual exhibition, Keep the website up to date, plan the complete experience and probably another hundred tiny things that will reveal themselves between now and then. This experience of planning an art show has really helped me though when it comes to planning ahead. If I had done my usual and go with flow, November 29th would be a NO GO!

But I can finally see the finish line.

And I've realized that #DearMirror has become much more than an art show. It's a record of a period of my life.

Love. Loss. Memory. Regret. Healing. Identity. Vulnerability. Growth.

There are pieces influenced by where I come from. Pieces influenced by things I've experienced. Pieces that are deeply personal and others that simply came from wanting to experiment and see what would happen.

There isn't one particular style running through everything either.

That was intentional.

I've never wanted to put myself into one artistic box and stay there. Life is too broad for that. My interests are too broad for that. And if this exhibition is supposed to be a reflection of me, then it should probably reflect that too.

So when I look at these digitally cleared gallery walls now, I see something completely different from what I saw when I first made these images.

Back then, I was trying to imagine whether I could fill the space.

Now?

I'm trying to figure out where everything is going to fit.

That's PROGRESS! 😂

And maybe November 29 will represent something else for me too.

Proof that excitement can start something…

but discipline is what gets it to the wall.

112 days y'all!

Meet me at the finish line.